Tag Archives: wtf

Case of the Mondays

Don't Drink, Drive, And Park Next To Me

I’d say the positioning of this van next to the Blingmobile was a pretty accurate omen for at least the first half of Monday. Seriously, who does this? And what does it say for my build that I was able to get in the car without the door touching the van? Common sense is extremely uncommon, that’s a fact. Other stuff just was really, really blah all day — not a fun one at all.

However, the weather’s been nice today, if almost hot — 86 at the airport! — so I refused to be defeated. It called for an outdoor lunch of quesadillas and water at Juanita Greenberg’s Nacho Royale on King Street, which was a pretty effective reboot of the day. Here’s the view from the back porch:

Juanita Greenberg's Nacho Royale

The warm weather combined with the Mondayness of it all had me craving a margarita. And while I decided not to make the trek down to Vendue Range for the rooftop experience that I alluded to in my tweet, I know Yo Burrito downtown would set me up right. And they delivered.

Yo Burrito

So Monday, here’s to you — because as crappy and oppressive as you can be, you are not infallible, and I once again claim victory.

We should do this again

About four years ago, when the functional equivalent to this space was still The Realm, a few of my dedicated message board compatriots and myself got together at my apartment and had what we called a “RealmCon.” It was a great time, highlighted by watching G.I. Joe: The Movie and laughing our collective butt off at the dub-over of when Duke is hit by a poison snake javelin through the heart, and Scarlett proclaims in despair, “He’s gone into a coma,” when clearly he’s dead. (The original plot involves him dying, but after Optimus Prime’s death in the Transformers movie was not well received, Hasbro reworked the plot.)

I just ordered a three-disc set that may rival G.I. Joe The Movie in terms of overall inanity; yes, for a mere $14, I’ll receive the three Thunder in Paradise “movies” with Hulk Hogan. (The term “movie,” as indicated by the quotes, is used loosely; the final two “movies” are actually episodes spliced together into a continuous storyline.) In the tradition of the RealmCon, I really am thinking about getting people together so that we can laugh at the over-the-top babeage, the so-ridiculous-even-I-can-imitate-it voice of Thunder (the Knight Rider-esque boat that I totally dug as a kid), and bizarre technical-sounding phrases that make zero sense, such as “Full Thrust Commitment” (which I cannot find on Google and thus will likely be the first and only result for said term) and “ROC for Hyperspeed” (ROC? WTF!). This time around, too, we can have beer. I think that would be pretty hilarious; but then again, I have an unusual sense of humor.

Baseball People Say and Do The Darndest Things

Gary Sheffield is one outspoken dude — however, it’s problematic when he’s got no idea what he’s talking about.

There’s concern in baseball circles right now that more African-Americans aren’t picking up the sport anymore. That’s a fair concern in baseball circles, and generally rings true if one looks at most major league rosters. Cue Sheff, who thinks he has it all figured out:

The percentage of African-Americans playing Major League Baseball is at an all-time low and Gary Sheffield says he has a theory why that’s the case.

In an interview with GQ magazine that’s currently on newsstands, the typically outspoken Tigers designated hitter said Latin players have replaced African-Americans as baseball’s most prevalent minority because they are easier to control.

“I called it years ago. What I called is that you’re going to see more black faces, but there ain’t no English going to be coming out. … [It’s about] being able to tell [Latin players] what to do — being able to control them,” he told the magazine.

Wha-WHAT? No one’s really got a 100% fix as to why it’s the case that there are fewer African-American players, but it has zilch to do with their ability to be “controlled.” It sure seems Sheff still has some deeper issues to resolve…because this is straight off the deep end here. I wonder what his Latino teammates think about him right now?

Speaking of the deep end, check out this minor league manager go absolutely nuts arguing a call. He makes Lou Piniella look tame:

In case you think your IQ is a little too high…

…take a few points off by listening to Tila Tequila. PARENTAL ADVISORY: Ms. Tequila is quite a “#1 fan” (if you dare click, you’ll understand) of the F-word. This link is, most decidedly, NSFW. (In all honesty, I’m not sure that the link is safe for, erm, anything, but hey…) I am not responsible for any personal distress or harm you may incur by clicking on that link, including spontaneous bleeding of your ears and the aforementioned IQ erosion. I also am not responsible for you listening to its infectious and incredibly profane chorus repeatedly, as I have taken to doing (four plays and counting, to be exact). I am going to need a major Trammell Starks adjustment on the iPod tomorrow morning.

(Thanks, Jill. :P)

Stuff that bothered me this weekend

In my various journeys around the Internet(s) this weekend, I did manage to trip up on a few things that bothered me…

  • Classic Bush: He appoints an anti-contraception advocate to the head of Office of Population Affairs. I just don’t know what to say anymore. It just speaks for itself, I think (and hope).
  • In yet another sign Bill O’Reilly is losing his mind, he somehow manages to say that gaming will be the end of the United States in an epic attempt at reasoning that only Bill O’Reilly can accomplish. C’mon, O’Reilly — are things really as bad as you claim?
  • The PS3 launch was utterly ridiculous on so many fronts, ranging from Sony shipping ~200,000 for the U.S. only to the violence at launch time. Amazing what people go through and how much they spend on eBay for such a terrible piece of hardware. Sony has botched this one, bigtime.
  • Rep. Charlie Rangel wants the draft to come back. Amazing how the folks in power — i.e. biggest proponents of the war — cower up when they think of the possibility of their sons and daughters going to war involuntarily…honestly, the reaction isn’t really surprising.
  • If you believe Steve Ballmer, expect a flurry of patent infringement cases against Linux distributions that aren’t SuSE very soon…
  • Finally…how can police get rid of ten codes?!? I talk to my friends in radio-speak and ten codes all the time. I’m sure I look like a giant doofus in front of, well, everyone, but hey…

WTF Mate?!?

So I decided late Friday afternoon to take some pent-up energy and stress and such and begin trying to roll out the full JaredWSmith.com website. I cooked up this design in short order — really only changing a lot of the outer chrome to better fit a “unified” design — and have decided to release it to the public in a beta form on the blog, which gets a fair amount of traffic. I’ll be making adjustments in the next couple weeks as needed. You should like it – I’ve taken what was good about the other design, I think, and cleaned it up quite a bit. It should be a bit easier to read now. Plus, it seems to work a lot better in IE.

Speaking of “WTF”, how about that head-butt at the end of the World Cup game? Congrats to Italy on a hard-fought win. Too bad it came down to penalty kicks, though.

One more WTF item before I get up to stretch and ensure I still know how to walk: ESPN is having major issues right now with their audio. I didn’t know Carlos Baerga is doing ESPN Deportes calls now…that’s pretty cool. But yeah, that’s the audio I’m getting right now. Hehe. Edmonds just hit a home run and he just screamed something in Spanish that was out of this world. I have no clue what he said, but it sounded a lot cooler than what I’m used to hear on a ballgame. :)

Alright folks — enjoy, and tell me what you think.

J